I kept on pondering about what Master Yoda said to his young padawan Anakin Skywalker "With love, comes anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to destruction". I couldn't agree more, as I too have, on a series of occasions, succumbed to this cycle before. As growing up took its toll, I though maturity would mend my ways and I admit that it did.
However, this week I felt that sudden anger bursting through me. Hatred took control and I, although just in my imaginations, wanted the destruction of that particular subject of hatred. How I dealt with it? A few deep breaths and a cigarette was all it took to calm me down.
Disappointed with myself? Yes I am especially when my own feelings make me sound like a bigot for all the "patience" that I preached about. I guess I was caught during my moment of weakness surprisingly in the month of Ramadhan when the devil and its demons are supposed to be caged up. It was my ego that took control for sure.
However, this week I felt that sudden anger bursting through me. Hatred took control and I, although just in my imaginations, wanted the destruction of that particular subject of hatred. How I dealt with it? A few deep breaths and a cigarette was all it took to calm me down.
Disappointed with myself? Yes I am especially when my own feelings make me sound like a bigot for all the "patience" that I preached about. I guess I was caught during my moment of weakness surprisingly in the month of Ramadhan when the devil and its demons are supposed to be caged up. It was my ego that took control for sure.
Even though I'm not perfect and I'm well aware of my own flaws, I'm supposed to be better than this. I know that patience without brains is meaningless. I should not waste my time and energy ranting on about it. I must persevere. Ya Allah, give me the strength to look past this. Amin.
