Love - Anger - Hate - Destruction

I kept on pondering about what Master Yoda said to his young padawan Anakin Skywalker "With love, comes anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to destruction". I couldn't agree more, as I too have, on a series of occasions, succumbed to this cycle before. As growing up took its toll, I though maturity would mend my ways and I admit that it did.

However, this week I felt that sudden anger bursting through me. Hatred took control and I, although just in my imaginations, wanted the destruction of that particular subject of hatred. How I dealt with it? A few deep breaths and a cigarette was all it took to calm me down.

Disappointed with myself? Yes I am especially when my own feelings make me sound like a bigot for all the "patience" that I preached about. I guess I was caught during my moment of weakness surprisingly in the month of Ramadhan when the devil and its demons are supposed to be caged up. It was my ego that took control for sure.

Even though I'm not perfect and I'm well aware of my own flaws, I'm supposed to be better than this. I know that patience without brains is meaningless. I should not waste my time and energy ranting on about it. I must persevere. Ya Allah, give me the strength to look past this. Amin.

Youth Revisited

Yesterday (Saturday) was the MOF's Basketball tournament held in Luyang Multipurpose Hall. I was selected to play for my office with 5 other colleagues and also to support the ladies team as well. We only managed to win 2/4 games and didn't managed to qualify for the semifinals but the teams we played against we're seasoned and strong. Nevertheless we played well, not the best, but still acceptable given the time we spent on training. It was nice though, showing off in front of my bosses, colleagues and my girlfriend, given the limited ability I had.

Standing in that very hall, the same hall I once played at in a different tournament almost ten years ago taken by the ambiance the court, the players, the crowd and music projected, I could help myself being brought back to those years. Basketball is the first sport I ever played and I could still remember the first basketball my father bought for me when I was 7 years old and the times when my elder sister and I used to play ball at a court near our old house. I made a lot of friends as I grew up playing the game.

During my teenage years, I was the captain of my school basketball team, the backbone if I may say. I used to rule over other players with my, almost 100 percent, 3 pointer shots. I was THAT good. I was the one who could carry the team and I also used to play for open clubs, which was great given my height and inability to speak a certain language. After moving to a new house and finishing secondary school, the time spent for basketball slowly faded away all the time I had was either used for studying or training for rugby and other sports I had in passion.

Now, almost 10 years later, I could barely sink a free-throw, make jump shots, or tap the rim. Is it because of aging? or lack of practice? I hope it is the latter. Well I am almost 1/3 heavier that what I used to weigh. I'm not dissapointed with my current state because I know that former form can return and who knows, an even better form. I don't really care if not many people favor the sport. Well you guys can brag on about your football, futsal, badminton or whatever sport you want but from what I know, not many can handle this game. Haha!!

I love basketball, it has been influential for my experience and I hope to play more games in the future, if not soon.

Outstation Duty: Hell Week or On-Work-Vacation?

Last week I was in Kota Belud for 3 days auditing the District Client Center with 3 of my colleagues. It was of the norm as I went there last year but the difference is that I went there last year during fasting month. Extreme work + intensive focus + fasting = Extreme Hunger. This year I managed to at least enjoy my time there even if I only stayed inside the hotel room.

This week (currently) I'm in Ranau and it is freezing cold here. With the added accomodation entitlement, we're able to afford a more comfortable hotel (thank you bosses!) at the Cottageview tonight and at the Perkasa Hotel the next 2 nights.

I've been commuting here and there for the past 4 weeks; From Phillipines to Kota Belud to Kudat and now Ranau and I realised that the longest I've been at home was only 2 days!

Return of the Mass Blogger

It has been ages since I last blogged and when I say blogged I mean a series of rants and complains about anything and everything with bits and pieces of enclosures of my personal life. Well why stop there, I'm gonna restart my previous hobby of blogging but this time less personal and more variety post of stuff that might actually be worth reading. But one thing that will remain is the sarcasm (which is better than ever) that will be included in all of my post.

I'm not gonna go public, well perhaps just not yet. The one thing that inspired me to actually do this is my girlfriend's blog which I follow (and by that I mean stalk) which seems to interest me a lot. Hopefully she gets to read this without me telling her that this blog actually exist. (Evil Laugh)

Currently located in Kota Belud on outstation duties, stuck in the hotel room observing the gamecast of Japan versus Paraguay's quarter final match on the internet while my colleague is glued on to the telly watching movies. (I spoke too soon as he just snoozed off). Hopefully my team will win tonight, go Espana! My money is on you!